Yesterday was - miserable. So much anxiety and angst I could not hide it from Dge when he got home - very late - for date night. You can imagine how it manifested itself. I felt like I was 22 again. Luckily, I am 42 and it only took a few minutes for me to confess; my tantrum had little to do with him. I felt like I was falling apart and cried a lot when he wasn't home.

He listened attentively then summed it up: "You need a job, don't you?"

I agonize, he gets to the point.

I am so amazed, I immediately stop crying. "You don't think I'm crazy?"

"No, just home by yourself too much. It happens to me if I'm off work too long and I know what I'm going back to. You don't even know what's next."

"You think so?"

"Yes and while you're going through this, I need to make it a point to come home in the evenings."

"You don't mind? I mean you get to have a life."

"It's temporary."

With this he hugged me and walked out to start a fire.

I think I'm so much smarter than this man, so much more in tune with the human psyche. Maybe sometimes I am, but I think often I just get too complicated.

Today's lesson: Keep it simple.

I need to get a job.

4 criteria:

1. It needs to be 20 -25 hours/week
2. It needs to be interesting
3. It needs to pay me enough to make it worth my while
4. It needs to have some meaning
5. My boss has to be sane and she/he has to appreciate me

Ok, 5. That's actually a lot to ask for in a job in my experience.

We'll see how it goes.